


Wasn't That a Party

by snapesgirl62



Series: Far, Far Away Series [5]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Crack Fic, Drunk Sex, F/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-14
Updated: 2010-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-12 16:24:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapesgirl62/pseuds/snapesgirl62
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleeping Beauty retold with a different result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasn't That a Party

**Author's Note:**

> cracked fic with dubious consent or non-con depending on your point of view about drunken sex. No Death Eaters were harmed in the writing of this story

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a King named Charlie who married a commoner named Harriett. They were happy together, and their happiness grew with the birth of their first child, a daughter they named ~~Zira~~ ~~Aurora~~ Lily.

They invited everyone in the kingdom to help celebrate her naming. Beings from all parts of the kingdom descended upon the castle to join in the pumpkin races, eating contests and generally have a good time.

One person showed up in a particularly foul mood. She was frequently referred to as Maleficent, but she liked to be called Her Magnicifence, Bella. Now Bella was highly put out to not be named the child's fairy god parent. Since her sister Narcissa was in fact Harriet's godmother (never mind that flap up when Lucius assisted Harriet in 'Cissy's place) Bella thought the baby was technically hers to care for.

Before Bella could utter any curses, or cause the least bit of mayhem, all in the name of justice, Charlie's fairy godfather intervened. The well intentioned if slightly befuddled man kept handing Bella goblets of whiskey to make her mellow.

Bella woke up in a strange bed. This was nothing new to her. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to figure out where in the kingdom she had landed. A strong well calloused hand was resting on her firm arse.

There was a party and some old codger kept giving her drinks. Bella remembered a fetching red-head with freckles and trying to seduce the chit. The next memory was of a florid, somewhat frowzy woman yelling _not with my daughter, you bitch_ followed by things getting blurry.

Bella propped her chin on her fist. That florid female was the king's mother, the crazy lady raised dozens of children while living in a shoe and had the manners to go with such wretched living conditions.

After that encounter, the steward apologized for running out of whiskey and she switched to drinking sloe gin. Bella smirked at the memory of discussing power tools with someone and offering to demonstrate her techniques. She must be in bed with that particular individual. Now if only she could recall who. It would be quite tacky to roll over and ask the owner of that nice hand who they were.

Perhaps it was one of the brothers that performed last night? They were all very pleasing to look at. The eldest was strong and commanding, the youngest was supple and sweetly submissive. Their middle brother however, was surly to her even after all of that beer.

"Darling one, I believe we need to rise and face the day." The voice was masculine and not as deep as she preferred. "I have to admit, your little strap on tool was quite the thing. I think you managed to give me the best work out I've had in the last fifty years. I also must thank you for the other treats. I do not believe I ever had a partner lick my eyebrows with such enthusiasm."

Bella's eyes almost popped out of her head. She couldn't have. There was not enough booze in the magical worlds, was there? She slowly rolled over to view her bed partner. His majesty, King Charlie's one hundred and fifty year old fairy godfather was looking at her in a less than paternal way.

"Yes, I must confess, I feel the same way, my dear." His eyes twinkled. You are certainly an athletic creature, but I do think we would be better if we just had the one off. You do understand, don't you?" He eased out of bed with creaking knees and tugged on fuchsia boxers before turning around and giving her a very thorough kiss. "I will let you summon your knickers down from the chandelier. Thank you again for a most enjoyable evening."

She watched him move a bit stiffly to where his robes were draped over a chair. Bella was gritting her teeth to prevent any screams from escaping.

"Your tentacles and strap on were just the ticket. Gave me a right good shag. I never imagined such a sweet young thing would know so much about how to jump start an old bender like myself." His hoary chest mercifully disappeared under the garish robes as he spoke. "I must get a few toys like those for myself." He muttered while toeing on his shoes.

Bella counted to ten after he left the room then buried her face in a pillow and began to scream.


End file.
